I'll be your grapes, fermented bottle..

Oh, how I love The Postal Service - the music group, not the service thing.

Ahem, anyway, I'm extremely peeved for two reasons: 1) The first day of my new fast went by without a glitch, and I would've easily been able to continue on, but the lady I was riding home with after school (she's my friend's aunt and a friend of my mom's) brought me and my friend - we'll call her May for privacy's sake - Five Guy's fries, burgers, and Cokes for the ride home, and I didn't even want it - nor did I at all enjoy anything but the fries and I had to add salt, of course - but I couldn't get away with turning the food down because May has lunch at the same time as me and knew that I didn't eat lunch, and seeing as she's one of my closest friends, she knows I never eat breakfast either. Plus, according to one of my other close friends - We'll call her September. September knows a very small bit about my ED. - May is catching on about my ED, too, and September bitched at me for it. Of course, not only did she go on about how bad it was for me, but she actually had the nerve to say 'Think about what you're doing to May. She's already gone through so much, she doesn't need to burden of you starving yourself.' It pissed me off to no end. I'm doing this FOR MYSELF, not for anyone else, so how the hell is telling me that I'm being selfish going to make me start eating normally again? Total bullshit.

So, today I fasted again and I'm going to keep on fasting until someone makes me eat; And even if someone manages to force me into eating or I have to do it in order to avoid suspicion, I'll eat as little as I can possibly get away with, drink loads of water, and purge it a bit later. My weight this morning was 95.5 lbs, which is SHIT. I was down to 82 lbs a month or two ago, and I let it get this bad. I'm only a few pounds from my starting weight at this point! THIS SUCKS. Oh well, at least I'm back on track now. I'm a bit worried, though: I'm going to a lock-in this Friday, and I'm terrified that I'll binge! But the guy I like - sort of, kind of, a little - is going, so I hope that'll keep me motivated to not eat anything!